Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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