had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
