You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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