Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
