my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
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So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
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I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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