Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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