so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
