I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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