oh god the rape fog is back!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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