I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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