Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
