Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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