oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
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I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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