wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
