Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
