If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
