worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Welp...herpes.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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