Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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