her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
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