I skipped work to stalk him.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
