btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize