i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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