i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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