a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
