He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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