he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me