Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong