Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?