no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
