I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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