batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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