Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
