i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
