No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize