is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
