Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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