guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you would pick up someone in the library
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize