Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
