She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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