In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
