Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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