I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
