I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize