chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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