hell yes lets make some ravioli
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
