remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I fill condoms, not promises.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
