she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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