i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
