I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
