Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
