i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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