My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
