your thong is hanging out like whoa
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
