If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just forgot I was standing up.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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