What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He did a backflip because drugs
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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