My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
