It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
