Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
