What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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