super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
