Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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