id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
it was like having sex with a tree stump
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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