so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
