i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
