Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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