Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
