so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
