yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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